Joseph Campbell once said that while most people seem to be searching for the meaning of life, deep down inside, what we are all truly longing for is the experience of being fully alive. I wholeheartedly agree.

To me, this is precisely what The Path of the Heart is all about: A path with a heart. One that makes you come fully alive; that brings out both the best and worst in you. A path that allows you to discover powerful gifts and qualities you never even thought you had and unleash the person you came here to be.

The concept of The Path of the Heart has inspired and empowered countless individuals throughout history. For many, it is a path that encourages us to live authentically, follow our passions, and stay true to ourselves. For others, it is a path leading to love and compassion or courage and spiritual transformation. In this week’s article, I want to offer you my unique perspective on what it means to follow your heart, and give you 8 signs that you’re not walking your unique heart path.

What is the Path of the Heart and 8 Ways to Know If You're Not Following It

The Path of the Heart, more than a spiritual path of compassion and love – as taught by so many master teachers, including Jesus and The Buddha – is a path of courage, that rage you feel in your heart when you are afraid to do something, but do it anyway. This path requires that you leave the life you planned to discover the one that has been waiting for you.

As Don Juan Matus wisely advised, “Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask yourself this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn’t, it is of no use.”

My Definition of the Heart Path

During a particularly challenging period in my own journey, when everything familiar was falling away, I received this definition while in deep meditation:

Notice that I start by describing it as a journey. This means you have to get off your ass and start walking it, even when it feels like you don’t even know where you are going. The path reveals itself through movement, not contemplation alone.

Then, the main reason you’re embarking on this journey is out of love and respect for yourself. Which means this is a self-ish path. You’re doing it for you; to grow and expand into the next stage of your life. Therefore it is a path of self-awareness, self-leadership, and personal self-mastery.

Also, notice that it’s a path where you seek or go after a new ‘possibility’ or something that exists in potential but has not yet been fully realized. And this new possibility requires you to blindly believe in it with both your heart and mind… with your whole being.

The Courage to Follow Your Heart

So, let me ask you:

Can you love yourself enough to embark on a journey where you courageously go after 100% of what you believe in your mind and know in your heart is possible for you?

If your answer is yes, then you’re most definitely following The Path of the Heart. But how do you know when you’ve strayed from it? When the external noise drowns out your heart’s quiet wisdom?

As someone walking this path alongside you, I’ve discovered eight unmistakable signs that signal when we’ve wandered away from our heart’s true calling. These signposts have guided me back countless times when I’ve lost my way.

You’re not following The Path of the Heart if…

1) There’s already a path in front of you

As Campbell also said, “If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”

Your path is unique to you. If you can see a path neatly laid out in front of you, then it’s not your path. Your path doesn’t exist… yet. It’s only a quantum possibility. You create the path with every step and action that you take. That’s why it’s YOUR path.

The comfort of a well-trodden road is seductive, isn’t it? We crave certainty, clear directions, proven results. But the heart path unfolds only as you walk it, revealing itself in the space between your courage and the unknown.

2) You’re trying to do it all on your own

You’re not meant to walk this path all alone. Although there will be times when you’ll have to rely on your own inner wisdom and strengths, along the way, you’ll meet mentors, coaches, or teachers who will help you discover and develop your unique gifts and talents. When the student is ready, the teacher will show up. Have you found your Gandalf, Merlin, or Obi-Wan Kenobi yet?

Who appears in your life when you’re most lost? Who holds space for your unfolding? The path of the heart is deeply personal, yes, but never meant to be walked in isolation.

3) You continuously avoid facing your biggest fears

The path requires you to face your biggest fears daily. This might mean saying what you’re most afraid of saying, asking for what you’re most afraid of asking, and doing what you’re most afraid of doing. And you’ll project these fears onto others, creating colorful dragons and monsters you’ll slay, only to realize later that when you kill them, you were actually slaying yourself. When you stop caring so much about what others are doing and focus exclusively on what you’re here to do, you’ll know you’re fully walking your path!

As Rumi reminded us, “Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.” But running toward your heart often means running straight toward what frightens you most.

What fear keeps appearing in different costumes throughout your life? What conversation have you been avoiding having with yourself? The dragons that guard your heart’s treasures always mirror your deepest fears.

4) You avoid pissing other people off

Being on your path requires you to repeatedly say NO to more tempting, pleasurable paths that your family, friends, and society have laid out for you. You must be willing to feel the guilt or shame that comes from saying NO to others, even pissing them off, so that you can stay on your path. As Oriah Mountain Dreamer asks in The Invitation, “are you willing to disappoint another to be true to yourself?”

Ralph Waldo Emerson understood this when he wrote, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” The path with heart demands this level of authenticity, even when it creates tension.

The hardest NO is often to those we love most – those who mean well but cannot see the path your heart is calling you toward. Their disappointment can feel heavier than any burden, can’t it? Yet bearing this weight is often the price of authentic living.

5) You don’t regularly journey into the depths of your heart

Even though you’ll be walking outwardly, the ultimate truth about The Path of the Heart is that it’s a journey towards the center of your very own existence. This requires that you create regular periods where you can go into the dark cave of your mind and descend into the unknown abyss of your heart, where you’ll tap into all the wisdom that will guide your steps along the way. Therefore, meditate on your heart regularly as if your life depended on it because it does.

This inward journey is what Rumi pointed to when he said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

The outer journey is merely a reflection of the inner one. Without that regular descent into your depths, you’re just wandering without a compass. When did you last sit in perfect stillness with your heart?

6) You don’t experience long periods of hard work with zero rewards

Along your journey, you’ll cross several deserts and valleys and go through long periods of hard inner and outer work, without anyone watching or cheering you on, and without any form of external gratification, acknowledgment, or reward. Some people call this ‘the difficult years.’ This is where you learn to walk the path for the sake of walking it, enjoying the journey, and letting go of your attachment to the destination or outcome. Once you arrive at your destination, you’ll nostalgically look back upon those years as the years where you developed your craft and grew in courage, confidence, and strength!

These barren stretches – where effort seems to yield nothing – are not detours but essential territories on the heart’s map. The seeds planted in these desert times often bear the most unexpected and abundant fruit. What appears as stagnation is often deep root growth beneath the surface.

7) You don’t celebrate the miles you’ve traveled

To stay focused and inspired along your path, you must honor the miles you’ve traveled, the experiences you’ve encountered, and the progress you’ve made along the way. So be sure to celebrate any victories or milestones you’ve achieved. There’s time to work hard, but there’s also time to play hard. Your path must include space for both. Otherwise, it’s just a path of pain, not heart!

When did you last pause to acknowledge how far you’ve come? The heart thrives on gratitude – not just for what lies ahead, but for the sacred ground already covered. Every step has shaped you, every struggle has strengthened you.

8) You don’t embrace the pain of being off your path

The paradox of this path is that to find it, you must first lose yourself. This means you must be willing to accept that you will often be off your path, only to find it again and again. So don’t beat yourself up for falling off! Zig-zag your way back by letting your feelings of pain, disappointment, and grief be what guides you back. It is through your feelings that your heart will help you find your way!

This might be the most compassionate truth of all: the pain of misalignment is not punishment but guidance. That feeling of wrongness is your heart’s way of loving you back to your true path. Can you welcome this discomfort as the faithful messenger it is?

As the Dalai Lama teaches, “If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” This includes compassion for yourself when you stray from your heart’s true path.

Final Thoughts

Finally, remember that The Path of the Heart is ultimately a personal transformation path and spiritual growth. It will never be about your achievement or the treasure you found. Once you ‘arrive,’ you’ll realize what matters most is the person you became along the way…

The skills you developed.

The challenges you overcame.

The healing you experienced.

How you grew and transformed yourself.

And this, my beloved friend, is the best gift you can give yourself, others, and the world.

If you’d like to explore more perspectives on what it means to walk the Path of the Heart—from psychological to spiritual to cultural viewpoints—I invite you to read my article Exploring the Path of the Heart, where we dive deeper into this transformative journey.

From my heart to yours,

—Gabriel

PS. When you're ready, here are several ways I can support you on your journey.
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